Coming to terms...

Somethings are better left out of my control.

I am a control freak. I like to know that everything is going to go exactly the way I planned. I went to the college I selected as my first and only choice. I had a boyfriend in college for exactly three years. I spent my fourth year in college single enjoying some light experimentation, and then I started my career.

As a lawyer, I was very good at controlling the courtroom. I spent hours and hours preparing for every conceivable situation that might arise. This allowed me to rise quickly in my firm. As planned, I made Partner by the time I turned thirty.

I married a handsome man at twenty-eight years of age. We had dated for two years before we were married. I had exactly two children, one boy and one girl, exactly two years between them in age. We lived in a suburban house on a dead-end street with a creek running behind the yard.

My children grew up to be fine young adults. Both are off to college. My husband is now retired after a very successful career. It all worked out exactly as I intended. That was, at least until this year. And that’s why I’m sitting on this couch, telling you why I think I am going insane.

My son dropped out of school to become a musician. My daughter told us she was pregnant shortly after her nineteenth birthday day with no contact with the father. My husband is now in jail for insider trading.

All of this happened within the span of this past year. And now, I am lost. I have no idea how to fix it. I’m here, discussing this with you, because it’s very hard for me to admit that at the age of 53 years old, I have lost control.

But you see, that’s not the real problem is it? Losing control over everything wasn’t the problem. It’s realizing that I like not being in control. The excitement. When I was younger, I couldn’t stand not knowing, but now, well, let me tell you, I get such a rush from it. I don’t know what to make of it. It’s not like anything I’ve ever felt. It moves me at my core. The only thing I can think of like it is when I see people having orgasmic spiritual experiences on drugs.

It all started after my husband left. Actually, it was exactly the morning of the Sheriff came to retrieve him. I had told myself that nothing would change. I would fix it all. I would convince Josh to go back to school. I’d have Darlene get an abortion and get her life back on track. And Peter would serve his sentence in not time, allowing us to go back to a quiet life; two vacations a year and Christmas and Thanksgiving at our house.

I went to the gym as I always do. I workout every day to keep fit and I love being noticed for it. It’d been a tough HIIT workout and I was still sweating when I left the gym. I got in my car and took the top down even though the sun was already beaming down. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t go straight to the market. I’d have to go home and change because of the sweat marks on my tank top and, well, down below. I was thinking about Peter and all of it and I didn’t see him when I turned.

He wasn’t hurt at all. He was angry. I apologized profusely. He wasn’t there and then all of a sudden, he was falling face first right into the passenger seat of my car! He was drenched from sweat and I could feel it splatter on me as I hit the brakes. He didn’t have a shirt on. When I turned to look at him, my first thought was how muscular and handsome he was. Isn’t that strange? I mean, I should have been horrified, but I wasn’t!

Anyway, as I mentioned, I slammed the brakes, and he fell face first onto me. He had to hurdle into the car because I pulled out in front of him so quickly. He wasn’t hurt badly, thank god. But he had twisted his ankle a bit, and so the decent thing to do was to drive him home. He insisted he didn’t need a doctor and he had matters of importance to attend to so driving him home would suffice.

We didn’t talk much on the way, other than my constantly asking him if he was okay and apologizing. Well, when we got to his house, it was not at all what I was expecting. He lived in a place by the beach, like one of those cute bungalows. His front yard was so nicely manicured and well-kept. The other houses on the block looked a bit sketchy and run down, but his place was picture-perfect.

I pulled up and he couldn’t walk, so I had to help him inside. We were still both sweating and I can still remember the musky smell as he put his arm around my shoulder. His skin was on my skin. I hadn’t felt any other man other than Peter, who had just left that morning, since college, I guess and it kind of got my juices going.

We got inside and I sat him on the couch and asked if I could get us some water. He directed me to the kitchen to bring back a few glasses.

From the kitchen, I could peak into his bedroom. I noticed a large metal framed bed, and well, let me tell you a wall of these obscene things. Like one of those leather masks, a whip, and… a very large dildo. They were just hanging up there where I could see them like my husband’s tools hung in the garage! He was sitting facing away from me, so I couldn’t resist trying to get a closer look. That’s when I saw her.

There was this blonde woman on the bed, completely naked and all tied up like in that Japanese way. She was sitting on the bed, with ropes all around her, blindfolded, and had a ball gag in her mouth. I was so shocked, I gasped and she heard me. I wanted to run out of there, but before I could get away, there he was in the doorway.

He was smiling. Not bashfully, but proudly. He introduced me to her in the most casual way. Her name was Ashley. Ashley, this woman nearly ran me down in her car. I started to excuse myself. Sorry, I shouldn’t be in here and all that, but he stood blocking the door. I started to get scared for a minute. Was this guy a serial killer or something?

But then, he went over to Ashley and simply took her blindfold off. She was very pretty. Probably about thirty or so, blonde, with the sharpest features, blue eyes, high cheek, bones and pouty luscious lips. However, her makeup was all messy, as if she had been crying.

He removed the ball gag and drool ran down her face. I should have made a break for it, but something was keeping me there. In fact, I could feel myself getting turned on by the whole thing!

So anyway, this guy, Richard was his name, was still wearing spandex jogging shorts and limping around. Ashley took a look at me and smiled but didn’t say a word. Richard pretty much ignored me as he slowly untied Ashley knot by knot. It was so interesting to me how precise he was. And when he was done, he simply looked up at me and said, ‘come here.’

And I did! Ashley pulled me onto the bed, a bit aggressively, which surprised me. Richard looked at her and said, I’m injured, you’ll have to do it. Then looking at me, he said, you can stop it anytime. You’re the one in control, just say Fargo. But I wasn’t in control. I didn’t know what would happen next. The only thing I did know was that I was more turned on than I’d ever been in my life.

Ashley sat me on the bed and stood up before me. She pulled my tank off and then my sports bra. She made circles around my nipples and then started pinching them. It didn’t hurt and then it did.

Richard took a seat in the corner and just directed her as if she was some type of zombie under his control. He looked at me and asked if I liked Ashley. I was speechless. A naked woman nearly twenty years younger than me pinching my nipples. I remember nodding and feeling like I wanted more and more.

Then Richard slid his shorts off. He sat there naked with his erect cock pointing at us as if it were nothing but the usual news! Ashley came and took them. They were the type of spandex shorts. Ashley put them on! And then she came back and pushed me back on the bed. She sat on my chest and then moved her crotch right up to my face. She lifted my face into her and I could smell the musk and sweat from Richard mixed with the smell of Ashley’s crotch.

I should have been revolted. I should have screamed and pushed her away, but my hands grabbed her and I buried her crotch into my face and breathed in. I lost control. I was actually came right there. I let out a soft orgasm and felt it damp between my legs.

She turned around and pushed her back end into my face. It smelled so odd, like not good, but not bad. I found myself pulling her shorts down and there she was right on my face, her little bleached and perfect asshole. I licked it!

She let me do that for a while, before she moved back enough that my tongue was suddenly tasting the juices from her pussy. She was a wet one and her juices were tantalizing. I was so into her that I didn’t realize that Richard had tossed her a dildo. Suddenly I felt this plastic thing between my legs. She worked it around around my pussy over my yoga shorts. I was gushing. I must have looked such a mess in those shorts. Just a big dark spot right there. I stopped eating her just long enough to ask her to put that thing inside of me.

But she didn’t. She just moved that thing up and down over my yoga shorts. And I kept licking her and sticking my tongue deep inside her. I could feel her hips moving back and forth and her intensity start to rise higher and higher and then she squealed and she lifted her hips and released a squirt that basically drenched me. It tasted harsh and smelled very interesting. Almost like pee, but I wanted more of it.

Then Richard called to her. Enough. And Ashley simply rolled off of me and stood by the bed. Richard limped over to stand by the bed with his cock at full attention. He grabbed me by the hair and sat me up. You nearly killed me. Do you think you owe me for that? The way he looked at me with those dark eyes. He was glistening from sweat and his cock was just there and I wanted to do whatever he asked me to do. I wanted him to fuck me. I never felt like that before. Not that intense.

Anything, I told him. Bad girls need to be punished, he told me. He grabbed my pussy and put his thumb right over my clit and I came in my yoga pants so hard from the way he was handling me. I came so hard I could feel tears of joy on my face. And then he grabbed my pants and ripped them down off my legs.

She has too much hair on her pussy. Remove it all. The hard way. As Richard took my arms and legs and secured them to the four posts of the bed with these leather straps, Ashley retrieved warm water and a razor. Not the type we use today, but an old-time barber one. And oh my, the feeling of the warm water and the cream on my pussy. I was in another universe from it all.

Richard stroked himself not inches from my face as Ashley worked shard by shard to remove my hair. The whole time she worked and Richard jerked, he kept saying things to me like, You cunt, you fucking slut. You like this don’t you? You like having a girl shove her ass on your face. You like my cock in your face. I’m going to cum all over your face. You want that don’t you?

I didn’t dare move. I just took it. I knew I could stop it. But crying out Fargo was the furthest thing from my mind. And then, Ashley put these wax strips on. All over. On my pussy, on my ass. And as she pulled them off, I started to whimper. So Richard grabbed his soiled shorts and stuffed them in my mouth. couldn’t breathe but from my nose and I was teary eyes, but it felt good! It hurt but in such a satisfying way. Piece by piece, Ashley ripped the strip off of me, each time allowing me to catch my breath before she did it again.

And then she was done, and Richard was still standing over me with his cock in his hand. He instructed Ashley to take the shorts out of my mouth and she did. And then, he pushed her head onto his cock and she started sucking him off over my face. They were on opposite sides of my head and she was giving him a blow job. He kept saying how he wanted to shoot his load on me. And then, he did. But not exactly.

He shot his load into Ashley’s mouth. Some of it dripped down from her cheeks. It was a lot. It dripped onto my face. I could feel the sticky warmth on my lips and chin. When Richard was done, Ashley grabbed my chin and opened my mouth. She let the cum dribble into my mouth and it went straight down my throat. I couldn’t help but cough as it made its way past my tongue. It tasted warm and salty and felt like a delicious oyster slipping down my throat. I swallowed all of it. When I was done, Ashley held my mouth open again and spat into it.

Richard didn’t go soft. He went half soft, but he immediately started jerking himself off again to get hard. I knew he was good for another round, and by this point, I was hoping he would pound that thing into my pussy.

But instead, he got on top of me and sat with his naked ass on my chest and his legs over my head as he jerked off. His balls were right there and I had no option but to start to lick and suck at his balls and his taint. It was so musky and sweaty and delightful. I was enjoying this so much, I didn’t realize Ashley was between my legs. She had a strap-on! She shoved that thing inside me and started fucking me good. It was so big. It was stretching me and reaching all the right spots.

I was about to cum. Hard. And Richard changed position so that his cock was now over my face. He allowed me to taste the tip. I could taste the old crusted cum around the flesh of his cock. All of my senses were on fire and I couldn’t help it. Richard instructed me, no commanded me, not to cum. I tried. I squeezed every muscle in my legs and my abs as tight as I could. I squeezed my pussy, but that made it worse and I lost control. It came rushing out of me, wave after wave after wave.

Richard was not pleased by this. He untied my legs and lifted my hips until he could access my butt. With a finger of lube, he slathered my ass. I’d never had anything there before and my skin was still sensitive from having the hairs ripped off. I started to squirm. I couldn’t move much though, with my arms still tied over my head.

Richard took his finger out and with a firm hand lifted my hips as he pressed his cock into me, inch, by inch, by inch until he was completely inside of me. He didn’t move fast, he just let my hips wander around his and I could feel his cock inside my ass. I never felt anything like it. I wanted him to stay there forever. I moved back and forth on him and I was just moaning at how glorious it all felt.

Ashley climbed on top of me. We were breast to breast. She was a petite girl and her weight felt good. She sucked at my tits and played with them and then stuck her tongue deep into my mouth. She licked and bit my neck and played with my hair all while Richard was just behind her with his cock in my ass.

He pulled out and went off to the other room. He came back and his cock was glistening. He put it near our faces as Ashley and I shared each other’s mouths. It smelled clean and fresh. I’m going to fuck both of you now. The one who gets the prize gets to leave, the other… well, you’re going to be here until I’m bored with you.

Richard knelt behind Ashley as she lifted her hips. He put himself inside her for a few strokes and then inside me. He moved from pussy to pussy. Each time she was inside of Ashley, I watched with envy as she arched her back and her tits shook in my face. Her blond hair hung down tickling my chin and she looked to the gods with her eyes rolled back in her head.

And when it was my turn, it was rough and fast. He pounded me like I’d never been pounded before. Harder and harder. I could hear him grunt in that primal way, like a primate with reckless abandon. Back and forth he went. Ashley came, then I came, and then I came again. And then it happened. Richard finally blew his load. But instead of giving it to one of us, he sprayed it all over our pussies as he let out a cry of relief.

It was done. I lay there trying to catch my breath with Ashley lying on top of me. Richards cum acted like a glue keeping our bodies pressed together. I could feel her breath on my chest. I suddenly realized how hungry I was.

Ashley untied me and crawled in bed next to me. This is the best part. We held each other in embrace and kissed softly and delicately now. Richard left the room but came back with a plate of fruits. Mango, grapes, watermelon, and the juiciest apples. He climbed into bed and fed us from his hands, all while telling us how beautiful we were and how lucky he was to have us. After we had a fill of the fruits, he laid in between us just holding us for some time.

I had no idea how long were laid there, or what time it was. I started to wonder about leaving. But then I realized, I had nowhere to be. I felt so refreshed. It was the first time I’d not had to think about any of my problems. They seemed so …distant. I laid back down and I can remember us all falling asleep in a pile of flesh. I’d slept so fitfully.

We woke. Richard directed me to a shower. The warm water of the shower felt rejuvenating against my skin. The water and soap glided off my new bare-shaven pussy. I let the water run off me soothing the soreness. It was such a good feeling, like the feeling of over-worked muscles finally resting in a warm bath. That’s when it occurred to me to wonder, who get’s to leave?

My answer came soon enough. I returned to the bedroom in a towel to find Ashley tying ropes around Richard. Aside from moans and the occasional swear word when she came, Ashley still had not said more than a word. But when I came out of the shower, she smiled a devilish smile and said. It’s my turn.

I dropped the towel and climbed towards Richard as I felt Ashley entwine me in the ropes, pulling Richard and me closer and closer together. I could have left, I suppose. But it really wasn’t in my control.