The Awakened Ecstasy of a Divine Death - Chapter 3 - Guardian

Part I: Awakening

Dana arrived at Mindful Warrior and found Ravi expecting her.  Dana had woken that morning before John and snuck out of the condo.  The past day had been a blur.  Dana was not an overtly sexual person and she found herself feeling odd about the things that had occurred the day before.  It wasn’t shame.  It was an odd sense that she’d been missing something all along. 

Dana was expecting, after the previous day, things would revert to the usual humdrum. She would arrive for her Yoga class with Diane, they would work up a good sweat and she would be off to work.  But when she entered the studio lobby and found Ravi sitting with two cups of tea, Dana felt an odd emotion.  Was it fear?  No, it was an anxious feeling, but it was something more interesting.   

Ravi greeted her with a wide bright smile.  His scent of juniper and pine triggered something inside her.  Was she getting turned on?  Ravi directed her to sit on the couch opposite him.  They made small talk for some time until Ravi asked about how she managed the previous day. 

“Your awakening is not something you should try to manage yourself.”  Ravi indicated. 

“I’m not exactly sure what this awakening is.  Things kept happening throughout the day, it’s almost like I was possessed. I felt hungry for something.  Some connection.  I can’t really describe it.” Dana offered

“Yes. This is normal. You have an energy within you. We all do.  This Kundalini energy lies dormant in most people for all of their lives, but those who tap into this energy, they experience a new relationship with all things.  Sometimes for better, and other times for worse.  It’s usually worse when someone tries to control it without understanding what it is.”  Ravi explained. 

“But what is it?  What is this energy?” Dana asked. 

“Can we be honest?  Can we be open about these experiences?  Can I ask, were they all sexual?” Ravi inquired. 

Dana simply nodded, her face and chest felt flush.   She took off her jacket, suddenly feeling warm.  

“Dana, you need not be bashful with me.  I am simply a guide to help.  And I have also gone through an awakening.  Mine took much longer and was a difficult test, but that helped me to be here and yours is one of extreme importance.”

“But why?”  Dana asked. “What am I to you? We don’t even know each other.”

“Ah, in this iteration we do not, but were you to go back a few hundred generations, you would realize that we are kin.  Do you know much of your ancestry?”

Dana had submitted her bloodwork to learn about her ancestry.  Coming from a mother she never really knew and a stepfather that largely ignored her, she didn’t know much about her heritage.  It turned out that she was of Indian descent with some Russian and Polish ancestry. 

“Yes,  that is what is exciting. You see, I am here because of your bloodline.  There are people who have been here for many years living lives of service.  They reigned from a particular region in the mountains of India.  They lived remotely and worked remotely for a long time.  In only the last 200 years or so, some of the people started to leave this place and go out into other communities.  At first, they were accepted.  They started families and lived normal lives. But over time, dark energies in the world exposed them and forces rose within society to not only repress them, but eliminate them, altogether.”

Dana found this all hard to believe.  “I grew up in South Carolina.  My family was trailer trash.  I’m not who you think I am.”

Ravi smiled.  “We often have doubts, but if there is anything I am sure of is that you are the one I am looking for.  Come, let’s see if I am right.”

Ravi rose and walked into the practice room.   Dana followed. The room was hot, already 105 degrees.  Dana felt the heat on her skin feeling as though her pores all opened at once. The warm glisten of sweat felt like an embrace.  She looked at Ravi and thought how handsome he was with the sweat glistening from his brow. 

The room was dimly lit. Ravi held out a pill of some sort. “I believe you are familiar with psilocibin.” 

Dana hesitated. “I’m not sure about this.”

 “To move forward, we must first conquer the demons from the past.  Everything we do here is a part of you, everything that happens is something that you’re making happen.  Everything here is a part of your shadow side.  These are things you have always hidden away. Your secrets.  In order to tap into your mind and get to those places, you will need to be completely open.  We can either spend years in meditation, or we can expedite the process with the help of mother nature.”

Dana took the tab and was about to place it in her mouth. Ravi stopped her.  “Like this.”  Ravi took the tab from her hand and placed it in her mouth, then kissed her moving his tongue deep into her mouth, holding the pill in her mouth feeling it dissolve.  

Dana felt an immediate change.  She laid down on a mat and started at the dim ceiling lights. Then she felt beings in the room.  Shadows were moving all around her.  She sat up and realized there were others in the room. Who were they?

Dana looked at the faces, recognizing them. Remembering them. Jesus, she thought.  Face after face from her past.  Sasha from high school, Tomas from freshman year of college, Marcelo! And then, there she was, Sara.   Dana looked at Ravi confused. 

“How are they all here?” She asked. 

“They are and they aren’t.  You see, these are all things in the past that you have not dealt with.  We are going to confront them now, so you can take on greater challenges in the future.  Shall we begin?”

“How do we start?” Dana asked. 

“At the beginning.”  Sasha came forward.  He held his arms open and as Dana embraced him, she flashed back through her past.  She was her old self.  Gangly, awkward, small piercings on her nose and tongue she had forgotten about.  She had long skinny legs and a flat chest that were not enhanced by her especially short jean skirt and skimpy top. 

She was sitting on the beach at night in front of a fire.  Sasha was there with Michelle.  Dana felt a sudden feeling of envy for Michelle.  

The boys were rough housing, drinking beers and smoking.  “You wanted Sasha, but you never made a move.  You envied Michelle.  This envy caused you to make a decision for which you lived in regret.  But you should not have.” Ravi was narrating from a place in Dana’s mind. “Show me what happens next.”

Dana did not want to show Ravi what happened next.  She had worked so long to forget this night.  She buried it so deep within her.  But in this moment, she could not prevent the memories from surfacing, playing out in real life before her eyes. 

Sasha and Michelle announced they were leaving.  Dana knew what this meant. They were going to take off in Sasha’s Jeep and find a place to park. To park and fuck.  Dana wanted to fuck. She wanted to fuck Sasha.  She was burning with jealousy. 

They left and left her with Sasha’s three friends.  David, Patrick and Lisa.  Lisa came and sat by Dana offering her a beer. Lisa was already drunk beyond her limits. She took a place in the sand and gently passed out.  The boys, David and Patrick were smoking pot.  They offered some to Dana. 

The weed went straight to her head. Dana knew what was about to happen.  “Let it play out the way it played out, Dana.  Come to terms with it.”  Ravi guided.  

Dana approached the two boys.  She kissed David aggressively on the mouth.  Patrick watched in awe as she climbed on David’s lap and started to grind her hips against his.  She felt him stiffen under her skirt as he grinded his bump right where it could push her panties into her own hungry slit.  She felt alive and empowered. She liked that Patrick was watching.  

She stood up and pulled her top off, unclipping her bra.  David stood up and kissed her, feeling her breasts.  His hands adeptly loosened the clip on her skirt allowing them to fall to the floor, leaving her with only g-string red lace panties Dana had worn hoping Sasha would be the one to appreciate them. 

She turned to Patrick. There he was with his hands down his pants.  Dana licked her lips and turned her back to David.  David had taken his pants off now and with Dana on all fours, positioned himself behind her.  He was trying to enter her at an awkward angle.  Dana reached back under her legs and grabbed him, easing him inside.  

It was not her first time. Although, the other times had been with older men. Men who were aggressive and inappropriate.  She felt Patrick’s inexperience. He was moving awkwardly, almost too quickly.  

She felt him stiffen and seizure as he grunted in pleasure.  He came quickly inside her.  As his cock went limp, he fell away, the liquor now hitting him.   Dana stood up, naked, with his deposit seeping out from her, dripping down the inside of her leg.  She looked at Patrick playing with himself under his shorts.  “Take them off.” 

Patrick pushed the shorts down with his penis popping out.  It was short and thick, like the boy himself. “Has anyone ever given you a blow job?” Dana whispered. 

Patrick shook his head nervously, no.   Dana walked to him, naked.  She pulled him to his feet and kneeling before him, she took him into her mouth. She knew exactly how.

The trailer park parties helped a girl grow up fast.  Still, Patrick’s cock felt nice in her mouth.  She licked the shaft and let her hands cup him.  She looked up at Patrick who had a look of confused delight on his face.  Patrick was enjoying himself so much, his orgasm seemed to come as a surprise.  He made a squealing sound and Dana felt the pulses of his warm pleasure sputter into her mouth.  The salty taste was familiar, although Patrick seemed to deposit quite a bit more than she was expecting. 

Patrick suddenly pulled out of her and jumped for his shorts. “Oh shit.” They had not noticed the Jeep pull up.  Michelle and Sasha were standing on the farside of the fire, laughing, jeering.  “Oh my god. What is going on here?”

Dana felt a rush of embarrassment. She would never live this down. 

She was back in the yoga studio.  Ravi was sitting with her. “Embarassment,” he said simply.  “Shame.  Locked inside you from that experience.  Something you never confronted.  But it was that experience that provoked you to pick up and leave that place.  It was that experience that made you start over. Do you see?” 

Dana thought about it.  Oddly, she could taste the semen and feel the embarrassment as if it was all happening again now.  Ravi put a hand on her chest. “This feeling.  It was so necessary. Feel into it.  Make the feeling a good feeling.  Let the hurt, the shame, feel good, Dana.  Own it.  Deserve it.”

Dana allowed her mind to conduct its own internal conversation.  She had repressed the memory of that night. She had left the trailer park shortly after, and had vowed to never let whatever had taken over her that night, surface again.  She was not ‘that’ kind of girl.  But wasn’t she? What was wrong with being that type of girl?  Thinking back on the scene, experiencing it again, brought her to the realization that she had liked doing that.  She had liked the attention from the boys. She had liked the feeling of knowing they would remember her forever.  Was she both of their first? Probably.  And wasn’t that something? To live in their dreams. 

Her vision moved to another shadow.  Stepping out of the darkness was Tomas.  Tomas was a graduate student.  Dana was a freshman, but two years older than the other girls having worked the last two years to save money.  

The spent long afternoons in the lab, always professional and focused.   Dana was more mature than the other girls, having left the partying behind.  She also had to work nights at the bar to pay for tuition.  

She never understood her appeal for Tomas.  He was by all means average.  Average height, average build, if not a bit stocky and overall grungy.  He generally wore sandals and shorts, something she never found endearing in grown men, and he wore his hair in a bun. Something she despised. 

Yet, there was something dark about him that she yearned for.  Perhaps it was not Tomas that Dana was interested in.  Tomas was married to a woman who came to campus from time to time. She was incredibly beautiful.  She had a thick French accent and dressed in fashionable, sexy clothes.  Dana couldn’t figure out how a guy like Tomas had ended up with someone so exotic. 

Dana started to become obsessed.  Tomas lived off campus in a small bungalow.  Dana would follow him home from time to time.  At first, it was just so she could look at the house, perhaps catch a glimpse of the couple and see how they lived.  But then, Dana become more aggressive. 

She found herself coming around to the back of the house. A small street led to a driveway and garage with the rest of the property fenced in.  Dana found a spot where a few of the fence boards had became loose and she was able to slide them over and sneak in.  Each time she snuck onto the property, she became a bit bolder.  

At first, she would sneak peaks into windows.  Night after night, there was nothing to see.  And then, one night, she caught a glimpse of Tomas’ wife through a basement window.  She was dressed in a black latex body suit with knee high boots and a mask of some sort. 

She couldn’t make out much.  She went to the back sliding doors. They were unlocked.  She slipped in quietly.  The door to the basement was open and she heard cries of pain coming. The only word she could distinctly make out was ‘master’.

Dana snuck to the basement door, making sure her steps wouldn’t be heard below.  She peaked down and saw Tomas sitting naked in a chair.  His arms were tied behind his back and there was a device tied to his cock.  His cock was erect and the device looked like some type of pump.  

Tomas had a pathetic look on his face.  He seemed to be anguishing in pain.  His wife was out of the line of sight.  Then not one but two figures stepped into view.   Who Dana had assumed was Tomas’ wife seemed to be someone else. Now, Dana saw Tomas’ wife dressed in a red corset and around her waist was a strap on.  

She watched as they untied Tomas from the chair.  Then, positioning him on all fours, his erect cock hanging down between his legs, the woman dressed in black put a jar of something under his dick. “Start fucking this.”  Tomas started thrusting his hips.  

Tomas’ wife stepped behind Tomas and took a bottle of liquid, pouring it generally over Tomas’ behind. Then, aggressively, she shoved her strapped on member into him and started moving in the same timing and motion. Dana watched as she fucked Tomas and Tomas fucked a jar of what looked like peanut butter. 

The woman in black coached and directed.  She pulled at Tomas’ hair calling him a dog.  She made demeaning statements about his sexuality and told him he was nothing more than a little bitch.  This treatment seemed so harsh, yet Dana found it so stimulating. Why was she liking this so much?  Why was this so captivating?

Dana reached down into her own panties and started to masturbate to the rhythm.  Tomas was grunting now, so the woman in black put a gag in his mouth, tying the straps behind his head.  

Dana, now standing at the top of the stairs was nearly about to have her own orgasm.  And then, he saw her.  Tomas’ eyes changed. He looked to the top of the stairs right at Dana.  He was grunted to the others, but they could not understand.  Dana should have run off, but instead, she felt compelled to lock eyes with him.  He was trapped, contained, unable to speak or tell the others.  Dana watched him get fucked as she locked eyes and let her fingers bring on her own orgasm. 

And, just a Tomas let out a familiar grunt, Dana had to bite on her own lip as a gush of pleasure made her knees buckle, wetness soaking her panties and seeping down her legs.  A puddle of herself dripped from her pussy leaving a small spot on the floor.  Dana left her mark as she made her way back out before being detected.  

Dana would see Tomas a number of times after that but neither would mention the event. Was it even real? But from then on, Dana would speak in much harsher tones with Tomas.  Often she would see him get hard under his pants when she did so.  This reaction turned her on and she would often run to the bathroom to relieve the tension returning with her own smell on her fingers, ensuring Tomas would detect the smell.  

But Dana had always felt dirty about these thoughts.  Why?  Why should she not embrace them?  Again here in the moment, she felt a revelation.  She felt her coming into her own.  Realizing that these things were repressed because she could never admit they were parts of her core being. They were inside her. 

Marcelo stood up from the shadows.  Dana thought they would go back to the night of the fight, but instead, they were in Marcelo’s apartment.  He had invited her over, but there was another girl there already. It was awkward.  She wasn’t comfortable with this but was too stubborn, or was it afraid, to leave. 

Marcelo introduced them.  The other woman, Maria, was dark skinned, extremely pretty, tall and thin.  She smiled a lot, not speaking any English.  Dana’s Portuguese was just enough to exchange pleasantries.  Marcelo spoke to Maria harshly and too fast to understand. 

They drank and smoked together.  Dana went along with everything, confused. She thought it would be just the two of them.  “Are you a good girl, Dana.” Marcelo asked with his thick accent.  “What does that mean,” Dana asked brashly. 

“It means, you listen to what I say?” Dana was scared.  But fear never made her back off.  She challenged. “Uh, it matters.”

“American girls.  They are too hard to deal with.  You see, if I ask Maria to kiss me, she’ll come kiss me.  You?  You argue.”

“Are you sure about that?” Dana was being bold. She wasn’t sure if she could back it up. 

“Ah. You want to play games. Okay, let’s play games,” Marcelo looked at Maria and said something in Portuguese.  Maria left the room. 

Then, turning his attention back to Dana, Marcelo smiled, “She likes you. Okay, let’s see, American girl.  Pour me a drink and come sit here next to me.”  Dana did as she was asked.  Marcelo did not wait long before he started kissing her and fondling her breasts.  Dana tried to hold him off but did she really want to stop him?

Her blouse was unbuttoned and Marcelo’s hand was buried inside her before Dana realized Maria was back in the room.  She had a camera on the two of them.  Dana stopped. “I don’t want this.  No film.” She pushed Marcelo off of her and pointed at Maria’s camera.  

Marcelo smiled. “Okay,  why don’t you sit behind the camera then.” He waved Maria forward and took down his pants.  Dana stood frozen as Maria casually pulled off her shirt and skirt and pushed Marcelo onto his back taking him inside her.  

Dana moved behind the camera.  She should have left, but she stayed and watched.  She watched as Maria looked at her while fucking Marcelo. It looked like she was jeering at Dana, almost challenging her.  Dana was flustered.  What should she do?

Her blouse was still undone. She was still wet between her legs. She allowed her finger to find its way into her panties as she watched.  Maria noticed and smiled.  A friendlier smile now.  The two of them fucked for a long while and then Marcelo pulled out and shot himself into Maria’s mouth.  

Finished and satisfied, Marcelo stood up and walked toward Dana.  Dana watched as he clicked off the camera. “Okay, no camera for the American girl.”  Maria stood up and pulled Dana by both hands back onto the couch.  She kissed Dana, letting her tongue find its way past Dana’s lips.  Dana could taste Marcelo’s cum, the nutty texture was sudden but Dana enjoyed it.  Maria’s hands were all over Dana.  And then, Maria’s mouth moved from her lips, to her neck to her tits.  As Maria sucked each nipple, her hands slid Dana’s skirt down to her ankles.   

Maria sat up, looking wild, taking one finger and then two pushing them inside Dana.  Dana felt as if a well of pleasure had been pent up for ages and suddenly a gush of relief rushed from her pussy.  Streams of pleasure left her body as an electrifying orgasm tensed curling her toes, arching her back, and grinding her jaw.  

Maria ventured down allowing her mouth to consume the juices that were now soaking Dana’s thighs and ass.  In so much pleasure, she had not noticed Marcelo was now attending to the camera. 

Maria made Dana feel things she had never felt before and never since.  She’d nearly forgotten.  And then she remembered why she forced herself to forget.  That video tape. The things Dana had to do to get that tape from Marcelo.  But that wasn’t the problem was it?

The deep dark secret was that Dana kept the tape.  She enjoyed having it hidden away, something no one else knew.  And, it was nearly there in plain sight.  There were no VCRs any longer, but it was right there on the shelf by the television, an old tape, mislabeled. It had been years since she’d though of the tape. With no way to watch it, she’d almost forgot about it.  But now, she remembered it was there and she loved the danger in it. 

She was back in the heat of the yoga studio. Her panties were soaked. Ravi stood up. The room was again empty with just the two of them. “These things about you, you’ve had them tucked away in the darkest corners of your mind.  You will need them for your mission ahead.  Are you okay with that?”

Dana nodded but she still did not understand.  Ravi continued to explain.  “Your people, our people, we use the most fundamental power, the core energy that moves the universe.  Some believe it is love, but this is not the case. Love is not neutral.  Not everyone can generate love.  But sex.  Sex is primal and everyone can generate sexual energy. On their own, with others.  The energy is always there and exists in us.  With you, its even more special. These events in your life, and others you may remember over time are demonstrations of your power. And this power is stronger in you than in any of the rest of us.  This power will guard you in your darkest hours. You only need to embrace it and not fear it.  Let it consume you. It will not destroy you if you trust it.  If you put your trust in it, it will guard you and deliver you to your mission, your purpose.”